Where might you be going this fine day, my friend?
Off along an aimless road that soon must end,
Chasing an illusive dream that shines to fair;
But when found isn't there.

I can understand your weary sigh, my friend
There but for the grace of God go I, my friend
Come, and let Him lead you to your journey's end
Oh, come along and walk with Him.

If without the grace of God, your life should end
And before the face of God you stand, my friend
What would your illusive dream avail you then?
So, come along and walk with Him.

These past few days have been extremely.. what? I can't place a word to it. Tumultous? Memorable? Earth-shaking? I don't really know. But 3 events over the past 3 days, all running consecutively, have managed to awaken something in me. Death has never been something I really had to deal with, I mean yeah I know we all will die some day and yeah I know I will wake up in heaven after I die, but it has never struck so close before. And it's when stuff like that happens, you realise it could happen to anyone.

I read Grace Zhang's blog on Tuesday. I admire so much her courage and her passion for Christ. But then I pretty much chucked it aside after reading, without thinking too much about it. Then Wednesday night came, and this morning, and now I've really started to think properly about it all. What am I doing for Christ? How many are the lost that I have lifted/ How many are the chained I've helped to free/ I wonder, have I done my best for Jesus/ When He has done so much for me? If I were to die today, would I be prepared to face God? And if my friend were to die in sin today, would I regret not telling him/her about God?

I could wish you joy and peace
To last the whole life long
I could wish you sunshine
Or a cheerful little song
Or wish you all the happiness
That this life could bring
But I wish you Jesus
More than anything

I could wish you leaves of gold
And may your path be smooth
I could wish you treasures
Or that all your dreams come true
And I could wish you paradise
That everyday be spring
But I wish you Jesus
More than anything

Cos when I wish you Jesus
I wish you everything.

First day of the last term of the first year of our last tenure as uniform-wearing students.(: School's actually pretty fun when you get down to thinking about it. It's about the people around you, and making the best out of the loads of free time you get before lessons, after lessons and especially during lessons. Haha. But really la, school life would be an awful drag if not for friends. Morning message yesterday (as in Sunday) was about friends. And it reminded me once again about how blessed I am to have the friends I have.

Hols were pretty unproductive but, aiya who cares. I had fun and that's what matters. Celebrated Julia's birthday with all my favourite girls.(: Spent many nights studying inefficiently at the dining table with either/both of my bros. Oh yeah and last night we went to watch my big bro's musical! It's tradition for Year 4 law students to put up some production each year. It was super duper funny and entertaining and yet meaningful. And my korkor was DANCING. He played this evil back-stabbing lawyer who had 2 solo lines and lotsa dance steps. My 2nd bro and I were so so so amused that when we came home we started practising the more memorable steps to show off to my big bro. And yeah we couldn't stop laughing at him BUT it's in a nice way, not a mean way.(:

Ok i don't really blog anymore nowadays cos my comp died and I just use whatever free desktop/laptop I find around the house. And anyway I think I'm supposed to be spending all my time mugging for promos. AIYA it's just promos anyway. Why is everyone getting so.. so.. so I-dunno-what over it. So kiasu and kiasee and all that typical Singaporean behaviour. You know back in RG where people used to go "Is this formative or summative?" and "Will this be posted on inet?" all the time? Well looks like some RG girls haven't kicked that habit yet, just that they've learnt to rephrase it a bit. Now it's all "Will this be important for promos? I mean it just constitutes a small part of notes right... so do we have to memorise or not?" and "Will this be in MCQ or open-ended?" etcetcetc. It's like the moment the teacher starts mentioning something about promos and paper format and all that, you can almost ALMOST see their ears perk up and eyes light up and the super-sensitive radar antenna feelers etc SHOOT out to receive all the HINTS and TIPS. Hear once still not enough, must go "can repeat?" to make sure all the HINTS and TIPS are accurately recorded and stored and backed-up in their memories.

><

Oh gosh. Ok I must stop ranting about such people cos I'll never end. And actually I never meant to start in the first place. But yeah. Education is supposed to be a joy. Why does it have to "counted" or "tested" or "confirm-stamp-chop come out in MCQ structured essay case-study" before it grabs people's attention and interest?

Ohwells ohwells owells. Forget it lah people will always be this way. For now I'll just concentrate on giving it my best shot, then maybe I'll make the world a better place after that. Oh yeah, J2s are having prelims over the next 2 weeks. All the best to all of them(: I really like Joy's just-leave-it-all-to-God attitude. I hope I can keep that same attitude when it's my turn next year too.

I wish the best of everything for you
I hope you know that honestly, i do

I hate how, as promos are getting nearer, people are taking things into their own hands and deciding what lesson is important and what is not, and hence ponning everything left right centre. PE and lectures and tutorials and tests and whole school days even. It's just not right ): Especially stuff like, skipping lectures cos "I won't benefit and I'm better off studying by myself anyway", then borrowing notes from the smartest people in class and basically leeching off them. Ok this one doesn't concern me directly cos I'm definitely not among the smartest in class, but still. It's the unfairness of the whole situation.

And it's only promos man. When it gets to As? Uni? Bleh. It's just quite disgusting how everyone is so competitive and pragmatic. And it's also a very escapist mindset that everyone's growing up in. Like "I won't do well for this test anyway so must as well not go". Since when was it ever up to us to decide on things like that? When it comes to As are they gonna decide "uhoh haven't studied enough yet, nevermind just don't go"?

Grawrgfmhrm. Ok if you're my friend and you're like the kind of people I just described, it's ok I will still like you. It's just the behaviour that I really don't condone. >=(

Back from national camp. Well well what to say where to start. It's my 2nd time at camp, but the experience is just totally totally different. Last time I went as a camper, this time I went as a student leader. Last time there were 8 companies, 4 platoons per company and 20 campers per platoon. This time there was 6 companies, 6 platoons per company and 30 campers per platoon. Last time I was in Charlie, the Red Cross company, this time I was in Foxtrot, representing GB. Lotsa things were different this time round, but the spirit of nat camp still remains.

Anyway I just wanna say that I really loved my platoon, F4. They are the cutest bunch ever! The platoon ICs Billy and Sabrina were always so responsible and could always be counted on even when everyone was tired and sian. There was Razak who came up with all the cheers and managed to lead everyone and get them all high(: Then there were the cousins! Brandon and Gregory(: Haha actually I still dunno if they really are cousins, but anyway they are super funny and they remind me of ME and they love to help. Even though they always make life difficult for me cos they like to complain about their safari beds and they are alwaysalwaysalways lagging like 5mins behind the rest. (:Foxtrot 4 <333

There were some points where I really felt like an idiot for voluntarily going for this thing. I mean throughout the entire camp I got around 10hrs of sleep. Debrief till 2+ every night, waking up at 5 or 6 to get ready before all the campers, sitting around in the blazing hot sun waiting and waiting most of the time.. but at the end of the day, the sense of fulfillment overrides all.(: Building rapport with the campers in your platoon, cheering with them and for them, hearing them cheer for you- that's what makes it all worthwhile. Haha I'm really quite happy about the whole experience la. I thought I'd probably be the dao anti-social leader whom no one liked, but I guess I managed to break the ice and get them to realise that I'm actually not that different from them. I'm still afterall a student just like them.(: And I guess I managed to balance between being firm and strict with them (UG camp afterall) while at the same time having fun and not scolding them or being harsh with them all the time.

And it's cool being a student leader, cos you get to choose what activities you wanna participate in. If you think it's boring you can just sit it out. And you get to interact more with the instructors armydudes etc. xP Hehehe. I loved the kayaking and biking! And I'm all brown and burnt now! Whoopiedoo. Hopefully I can get some photos up soon.

www.pandora.com check it out now!
Type in your favourite artist/song, and you'll get a whole radio station playing songs that are musically similar. Great way to discover new bands or songs! Super duper uber cool.(:

The 9th of August is a holiday
We don't have to go to school,
We all can play
We're dressed in our best,
Especially for today
Hip hip hooray!
It's our national day

Why do so few people know this song! It's like, THE song you sing in primary school every year during national day. Anyway, I really love national day. I love singing all those songs and watching the parade and feeling so Singaporean. And of course there are always those offers that shops have around national day. 41 cents for a topping at BK.. $41 off phones at Singtel etcetc.

Eh but National Day celebrations are so crummy in RJ. It's nothing to do with the organising committee or anything, it's more the school culture in general. Remember in RGS where all our celebrations were so super duper uber fun! And during National Day celebrations there'd be the sec 1 song comp, sec 2 skit comp, sec 3 dance comp and sec 4 fashion parade. Sigh guess it's the end of those days.

I think I've kinda forgotten how to blog the way I used to): Anywayy. Helper's Appreciation lunch at Singapore Yacht Club very soon. In like 7hrs. Crikey. I gotta survive one of my favourite public holidays on barely 6hrs of sleep):


Do ya like the way I go all shy?
I just can't look you in the eye
I'd like to think so
Will you stay here for a while?
So I can watch you when you smile
I'd like to think so

I love...
- God, and on a related note, my church
- church camps!
- people around me. Friends and family
- solving things. Like in math, or in life
- my class
- music. Making it playing it singing it listening to it(: On the guitar, piano, everything
- banana chips and strawberry pocky
- and most food actually
- and chocolate!
- school at night. As in, the building
- giraffes!
- rain. The way it smells sounds feels
- curling up in bed with a good book and a steaming mug of coffee when it rains
- earrings and footwear
- purple
- reading
- oh and ben&jerry's icecream. especially half-baked.
- badminton. And netball. And volleyball!
- going on long family vacations
- heart-to-heart talks
- OH and cookies
- happy sappy movies
- shopping
- small happy children
- stars
- talking to people I haven't talked to in a long while
- the feeling of being loved
- the feeling of being in love

I hate the way I...
- get jealous and insecure easily
- procrastinate a whole big deal
- keep things to myself
- clamp up around strangers and strange people and people I don't really know and people I like, as in like LIKE
- have zero social skills
- snap at everyone when I've just woken up
- spend too much time on the comp
- don't appreciate the people around me enough
- spend too much money
- take things for granted
- get proud at the littlest things
- can never ever ever EVER keep my desk and room neat
- can never find an empty space on my desk
- sleep so late
- get really impatient sometimes

I really, really dislike...
- hypocrites, backstabbers, liars, cheaters, betrayers, heartbreakers *sob* ok no no no just kidding.
- feeling lonely
- waking up early
- not having enough time
- people who act like they're everything when they're really not
- people who try to cover their Singaporean accents with some funny angmoh accent when really, they just sound really fake
- standing around waiting for people wait for other people to make decisions
- indecisive guys
- people who do every single thing with an ulterior motive or a hidden agenda. Like, "if I participate in this competition will this be in my CV?" "if I help out with this project will I get CIP hours?" "if I be your friend, what do I stand to gain?"
- self-absorbed people
- people who go with the flow and try so, so hard to be in and cool and hip and happening
- farewells and goodbyes

My perfect guy must...
- love God
- love God more than me
- love his parents and siblings and my parents and siblings
- get along with my friends
- love kids
- love music!
- sing(: nicely enough. and play the guitar better than me
- make me laugh and do goofy things and have the same warped sense of humour as I do so that he can understand all my weird jokes and wisecracks and not just like, roll his eyes at them
- not be too serious
- be smart. but not smarmy
- be decisive and in control
- not be a pushover
- not be a chauvinist
- be reasonably sporty
- know how to make me feel special

I want to...
- finish all my tutorials on time
- jetski
- have perfect curved nails on my right hand
- run and swim more
- buy a new phone
- have a bigger heart
- love God more
- tan
- speak better teochew
- stop procrastinating
- get along better with people

Humility  - a rare & elusive  virtue
2 Cor 11:30-33
         
H.A. IRONSIDE, a minister in the  early part of the 20th century, knew he was becoming  prideful.  His church was doing well.  His messages  were being received enthusiastically.  People  recognized him on the street. He realized he needed to do something to humble himself.  He asked, "What can I  do that will curtail my ego?"

He concluded that it would  be healthy if he rented himself out to a vendor & carried  a sandwich board ad for an entire day.  So for 8 hours  Ironside walked the streets of Chicago carrying a promotion  for a local business on his back.

As he  prepared for bed that night he thought to himself, "What a  humbling experience that was!"  In the next second  he mused, "You know, I'll bet there's not another preacher in  Chicago who would be willing to do what I did  today!"

Humility is an elusive virtue.  Once you  think you've got it, you probably have lost it.  One  preacher reported, "I have a great sermon on humility but  we've never had a big enough crowd to merit preaching it!"

Humility is a rare virtue. The world doesn't consider humility of value & few Christians pray earnestly for  it.  But the apostle Paul wrote, "If I must needs glory, I will glory of the things which concern mine infirmities." (2 Corinthians 11:30).

Paul had reason to boast from a human  perspective.  He had received the best Jewish  education.  He was a Roman citizen.  He had a keen  mind.  He was known by thousands.  He had  traveled all over the world.  He was a prolific writer.  He'd experienced a special call from  God.

No wonder Paul had to struggle with ego on  occasion.  But God humbled him at his conversion by  striking him blind for three days.  Shortly after  his conversion Paul was humbled again when he was lowered in a  basket from a window in the city wall to escape those who  wanted to arrest & execute him.

Thoughout his ministry  Paul was arrested, beaten, imprisoned, criticized, mocked, stoned, & left for dead, but since God had revealed so much to  him, he was still tempted by pride.  He wrote, "And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure." (2 Corinthians 12:7).  The Lord made sure Paul remained humble throughout his  ministry because "God resists the proud but gives grace to the  humble."

Humility is an essential  virtue.  Humility is not insecurity, cowardice, or self-consciousness.  Humility simply reflects a constant awareness  of the need for God in our life.  Humility says,  "Regardless of my title or influence, I am still a sinner in  need of God's grace.  In spite of my gifts I know  that without God, I am nothing."

Humility means we are willing  to take a back seat in order to advance the cause of  Christ.  It means we're not easily offended if we're not in the limelight or asked to sing the solo, give the keynote  speech, or be the chairman.

Humility means  if we succeed & all the charts in your business trend  upward, you don't become proud or boastful. You  just thank God that he's gifted you & enabled you to  prosper.  It means that if we are failing, if our life is falling apart, we don't quit, wallow in self-pity, or  blame other people. We don't complain that we deserve better.  We just say, "Lord, by your strength, I'm  going to continue on."

Someone said, "Humility isn't  thinking less of ourselves, it's just thinking of ourselves  less . . . & Jesus Christ more."

People keep spoiling good songs on SGIdol! Last week it was Paul with Superman, this week it was Jay with I Don't Wanna Run Away. Yikes.. they like to choose songs that are really special to me and then mess them all up. The video of Bad Day was really badddd too. Yikes!

Oh you know Bala told me something today. Actually for the girl's bout right, when it was Bala's turn to, I dunno, what do you call it, FIGHT? Yeah anyway. By then we'd won 1 lost 2 drew 1. So even if she won it didn't necessarily mean that we won overall. That's why even after she won, they were silent for a while, waiting for the referees to add up the scores overall. Then they realised they won! That's when everything went real wild. Hahaha! So cool! Anyway, today Shiyun didn't come cos she had stomach flu and Felicia didn't come too cos she sprained her knee! Again! So I became Bala's Felicia and helped her do all the stuff that Feli always does. Oh man! I didn't realise that Feli gets bullied and abused so much! Lol!

It's hard to believe
That I couldn't.... sneeze see
That you were always right there next to beside me

AHAHAHAHAHAH!

Today we finally got back all our CT papers. Yay my grades are quite cool afterall. Although it doesn't form a word (no vowels!), it's palindromic! Cool huh.

And I studied in school today for the first time since.. before CTs. With Serene! Yay yay yay. You can see the sunset from higher floors of the school and it's simply breathtaking. The sky takes on a whole myriad of colours and you can literally see the big red ball of fire sinking down into the horizon. But don't stare too long or you'll get light spots in your eyes for a loong time after that. And after mugging our hearts out we went running! Whoo what a great end to the day. From the PE dept up and down to the RI gate, all around outside the school and back in through the Braddell bus stop gate. Feels real good to work out both your brain and body. If I come home after school I'll just lie comatose in bed for 3 hours that kind of thing.

Juliaaaaa... I hope you are not sad about that thing anymore. It's really ok! It's just, ya as I said, a learning point. Andand I really love that song.. got it from James and it's really brilliant. (:

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

That bolded line was on my MSN nick and Danny asked me, what's all part of a grander plan that is coming true? So I told him, well, everything! It's true isn't it? Every single thing that happens in our lives, big or small, it's all part of that grand plan that God has for our lives.

And who the "you" might refer to, I really don't know. Haha. Guess it just isn't the time right now. It's all about surrendering your entire will over to God and letting Him take control. What you want might not always be what's best for you. Only He knows and only He can make it all right, and only in His own perfect timing.       

Judo finals today. BALA SUPER COOOOL WHOOOO.
"today was judo finals. lingting wanling and i went to support bala. WOOHOO i love bala she did an ippon and won in 3 seconds. WOOHOO. lingting went high. i can't believe she started cheering so highly and loudly and jumping up and down. it felt so good though. i must remember that feeling."

... so says Julia. Hahaha. Yeah I really went super duper high. Cos at first I thought we'd lost 1-3 to HCI already and Bala's round wouldn't make a difference. But then we realised it was 2-2! And that Bala went out there and did her magic and we WON! WHEEHEW! I just bounced down the stairs to where the competitors were and kinda pounced on Bala and hugged her lots. Hahahaha. And we saw Ms Hoo too!! But then had to zip back to school la, had guitar prac afterall and actually I wasn't supposed to skip for match support. =X So yeah. Had to conduct sectionals with no voice. Croak croak croak. After that went out for dinner with Wanling which made me feel quite happy.(:

Oh yeah. I realised I never blogged about my happening weekend. Basically Saturday was my birthday and Sunday was my reaffirmation. Lotsa exciting stuff but mainly, thank God for 17 good happy healthy blessed years. And thank God for the public confession of my faith! As well as Evan's, Dora's and Joyce's.(: Andandand also thank God for the choir presentations. Was playing the piano.. kinda slipped up a few times but generally it went pretty ok. Yay!

And thank God for friends.(: Church and 07S03I and guit peeps and of course Julia Debbie Wanling Sien too who are always always somewhere around. I wanna sleep soon but just wanna say a few things
- Was really expecting that I'd drift apart from Wanling in RJ cos of different subject combis, social circles and all. But then, guess what! We haven't. Hahaha. We can still talk about pretty much anything and everything, just like the sec sch days. After I came home from dinner with her, my mum was asking "what's the occasion.. did she have some troubling xin shi to share with you?" and then I realised. Eh. Since when did we ever have to like have a proper occasion where we make the time to sit down and talk about our deep dark problems. We're the kind of people who can just like meet the corridor, talk for 2 mins and pour out all our woes. Something like that la. Haha. Cool ain't it.
- I love my class! I thought I'd hate it at the start of the year. But then I started getting close to a few people, then more, and more! So yay I'm really happy where I am now. There's Shiyun who's alwaysalways there for me. James who's also quite always there for me too. Helps me carry my guit and everything. Feli my trusty PW buddy. STOP INJURING YOURSELF! Bala who won't stop teasing me and calling me all sorts of horrible stuff all the time, but is still SUPER to hang out with. Qianhua who I used to think was a bigtime mugger but is actually super too! And all the rest like Brian and Jonmuk etcetcetc.
- I hate councillors for always being so busy. Sucks that all my closest friends are in council you know? >=( But ohwells. At least they still make time for me. Thanks guys
- Some things in life you reallyreallyreally want like so bad, and you don't get. But you know, that's life! His way is perfect, His way is best.

Ok can't think much more. Zzz. Continue tmr!